As the title of my post imply, I am simply regretting the deeds I made during the start of this semester. Let me enumerate SOME of those things I should have never done:

1) I did not attend my classes because I was too lazy to get out of my bed.

2) Drank my guts like there was no tomorrow resulting to my inability to wake up early the next day and skipping classes again.

3) Got the hang of the line “I can do that later or tomorrow, it’s a piece of cake” and ended up having overdue reports, some of which have I never started yet.

4) Spent every centavo I have in my pocket to unnecessary stuff because my eyes fell in love with it.

5) Overspending due to satisfying my personal craving leaving me now penniless.

6) Taking for granted the opportunities on front of me ending up in grave disappointments and grave loss.

7) Enjoyed swiping my credit card to buy stuff just because I sought the need to have a purpose of wandering in the mall.

And since my favorite number is 7, I won’t be continuing my list and I think you get the idea of the things I am starting to regret. My being wasteful and irresponsible.

These things have been done and the damaged has been incurred. All I can do now is start preventing them to continue which I am doing just today. I have decided to pull my self back together, after breaking the present “me” and putting back the “should have been me” and make it the “not so far me”. I do really hope that in due time, I will be able to accomplish this mission that seemed almost impossible.

I really don’t know if someone reads my posts here or if someone happens to crawl this very unupdated blog of mine but as you can read the title of this post, I am in need of help. Although my problem is not that big, but it seems very annoying to me now that I realized what was going on and what is happening to me now. I am going to share my “problem” in hope that someone who can read this might want to help me or give me some advice which I will be very grateful about it. So anyway, my story begins here.

When I rose from bed today, I told myself “What a very unproductive weekend for me…again”. That was the first thing I thought of and so I decided to wash my clothes since the sun is already up and I need enough sunshine to dry my clothes. While I was washing my clothes, I was thinking why do I feel okay even if I had a very unproductive day and why does it not bother me that I have not done any of my responsibilities when in fact I was not like this before. So I was startled when I realized this and I was disappointed about myself. Since the year 2009 started, I realized that I always end up having a very unproductive weekend and it seemed fine. It only struck me today that I was creaming in my mind “Hey! What is happening to you! This is not you! And this should not be you!” and so I came to a pause and thought about it then I said to myself “Hey, I am right, this is not me and this should not be me”. You might ask why but the way I knew myself was that I was someone who never wanted to end a day doing nothing and I always find it disrtubing that I have unaccomplished tasks but now, it didn’t matter at all. I never had any absences nor overdue reports but now, I don’t have a class that I didn’t have any absence and all of my reports are overdue. These things just came to me and I don’t know why is this happening to me…

I really do need help and I’ll try to talk to my friends with regard to this matter but an opinion, suggestion or advice would really make me feel better. Thanks!