I really don’t know if someone reads my posts here or if someone happens to crawl this very unupdated blog of mine but as you can read the title of this post, I am in need of help. Although my problem is not that big, but it seems very annoying to me now that I realized what was going on and what is happening to me now. I am going to share my “problem” in hope that someone who can read this might want to help me or give me some advice which I will be very grateful about it. So anyway, my story begins here.

When I rose from bed today, I told myself “What a very unproductive weekend for me…again”. That was the first thing I thought of and so I decided to wash my clothes since the sun is already up and I need enough sunshine to dry my clothes. While I was washing my clothes, I was thinking why do I feel okay even if I had a very unproductive day and why does it not bother me that I have not done any of my responsibilities when in fact I was not like this before. So I was startled when I realized this and I was disappointed about myself. Since the year 2009 started, I realized that I always end up having a very unproductive weekend and it seemed fine. It only struck me today that I was creaming in my mind “Hey! What is happening to you! This is not you! And this should not be you!” and so I came to a pause and thought about it then I said to myself “Hey, I am right, this is not me and this should not be me”. You might ask why but the way I knew myself was that I was someone who never wanted to end a day doing nothing and I always find it disrtubing that I have unaccomplished tasks but now, it didn’t matter at all. I never had any absences nor overdue reports but now, I don’t have a class that I didn’t have any absence and all of my reports are overdue. These things just came to me and I don’t know why is this happening to me…

I really do need help and I’ll try to talk to my friends with regard to this matter but an opinion, suggestion or advice would really make me feel better. Thanks!

The question “what is love” is a question by many. A question that has no definite answer and a question everyone wants to know the perfect answer. The bible has its answer to this question too. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 tells us that “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.” Others think that love is something else. Whatever definition you have about love, one thing is for sure: that love is a concept, and idea, a belief.
I would like to stress my idea about love. That love is a concept. Although there are many types of love as what we can read in literature, I would be talking about the love that lovers have, the kind of love that people who are in an intimate relationship have. Love as love.
It is common to hear from someone who is in love to say the words “I love you” and “I love you too” is the most appropriate response in a conversation. But somehow, the question of why and how seems to be forgotten. Why do you love the person? How did you know it was love that you felt and not something else? Other people might say that love can never be explained, it is something that one can just feel. My question is, what exactly did you feel? “Love” Perfect! But I really don’t get it. So I asked some of my friends the same old question, “what is love”.
One of them told me that “love is when I feel secured with someone, love is when I feel happiness, and love is when I ask for nothing else as long as I have him”. Another told me that “love is when you find yourself smiling just sitting beside him; love is when you don’t care about the world as long as you are with him, and love is a mutual feeling shared by two people.” Other answers had the same thought, almost everything were positive except the answer of someone who loved me before: “love is sacrifice”.
When I asked then how can they tell that it is already love, they told me situations that would tell them that it is already love. Conditions that if were met and fulfilled, and then they say that they are already in love. But, if suddenly everything changes, then love changes. For example, someone related love to happiness and when she feels happy whenever she is with that person then she is in love. But what if she is not happy anymore? Is it safe to conclude that she is not in love? Or was she ever in love in the first place? Another situation is that one interprets love if a person shows too much care. What if that person gets too busy or it is natural for that person to be caring. The latter one can sometimes lead to assumptions, rejection and hard feelings. So, if the things that you relate love to do not happen anymore, then it would mean that love does not exist anymore. And since there no mo love, then your concept of love cannot be met anymore. Therefore, love is a concept.

Viruses are alive if and only if they are inside a host cell. They cannot live and multiply without a host cell. Viruses get everything they need in the host cell leaving the cell weak, but not dead. With such characteristics, humans are like viruses. To know more about viruses, you can read this article from wikipedia.

Unlike other parasitic organisms such as fungi, bacteria and nematodes that consume all the nutrients of their host resulting to wilts and necrosis, viruses do not get everything from their host plant, instead they allow the host to live but almost dying. Viruses alter their host cells’ so that they can survive leaving the host cell weak or damaged. This is evident in the symptoms that an infected organism show. Like humans, we change our environment in a form that suits us best.

The high technology, highly industrialized, and a very comfortable living that humans enjoy today are results of humans’ efforts to change their environment, to live life the way we want it to be. Just live viruses, changing its environment to suit its needs. And what happens to the environment? Damaged? Weak? Diseased perhaps. But do people care about this?

Instead of us, humans, adjusting and adapting to the environment that we have, it is the environment that we change to adapt for us. The flattening of the mountains for subdivisions, the invention of air conditioning systems to control room temperature, the rise of oil-intensive factories to provide the needs and wants of the people, the increasing number of cars dashing along the highways, and many more. Such activities have made life for humans comfortable. Such activities have altered the environment. Such activities have made the environment weak, damaged, and destroyed.

And how can we see these if the environment is supposed to show symptoms? Is there evidence of this? Maybe there’s none. But have you read the news lately? Have you seen the several calamities that have occurred? The issues of global warming, true or false may not alarm you but maybe you might have observed how polluted your air is. Or have you noticed how your water now is treated compared to several years ago? Or have you ever felt that the sun is getting hotter and hotter and that the number of heavy rains and flash floods increased? Or you just don’t care or maybe you do care but can’t do anything about it? Try to ask yourself, have I really adapted to the environment? Or have I made the environment adapt for me?

I practically manage four blogs now:

The Thinking Beans
Yami No Matsuei’s Blog
Yami No Matsuei’s Hangout
UPLB Tubaw

and now I am setting up a new blog again:

AgreeCulture Today

wherein I will be writing agriculture related articles and information that I learned from school or have read from the internet or other sources. I am also planning to include the topics that we have discussed in class. In a way, I will be able to have my review and be able to refresh my memory on the things that we have discussed in class. Not only that, I would also be able to share the knowledge and information that I got from school. Maybe, just maybe I can help others just by doing so. I hope if you have time you visit this site: http://www.agreeculturetoday.com. I haven’t posted anything on the site yet but hopefully I would be able to post many articles by next week.

The whole activity was fun. The group left the campus at around 11 in the evening with 5 buses full of excited Humanities 2 students. The group arrived at Vigan 12 in the afternoon the next day and proceeded with the trip after some hours of rest. Most of the sites were part of the Philippine history. The stay at Vigan, particularly at Cordillera Inn gave the students an idea of how the Philippines looked a century ago. For two nights, the students get to experience how it was like living in the streets of the Philippines more than a hundred years before. It also gave the students time to mingle with other people.

Although the whole trip was quite tiring with several itineraries lined up, everything is worth it for the beautiful artworks and structures that were visited by the group, not to mention the beautiful sceneries that can be seen in places that were visited during the trip. What made the trip more fun is the absence of rain. It never rained during the course of the trip. The group only experienced rain when it was time to go back home. We visited churches, pottery, weaving place, the windmills, museums and other places where art and history can be seen.

The churches we visited were those that were built during the Spanish colonization. The church bell tower of Bantay Church which stood several meters away from the church itself and the very large church at Ilocos Sur. The churches were decorated with several saints and sculptures and images of saints and the Holy Family. The edifice of the church is characterized by the presence of various arcs and curves made of bricks stacked up together to form somewhat an altar of saints and the Holy Family. The statues that were installed are statues made together with the church. The interior was wide and even the altar was full of saints. The Baroque art is very distinct in this church as can be seen in the configurations of the inside with many arcs and curves and is inspired by religion. The church altar appeared to be lit in a very peaceful and calming way to create an aura of peace and holiness inside the church. The poles stood high supporting the well decorated ceiling of the whole church. The influence of the Baroque art in this church and the rest of the churches being visited is because these structures were built during the Baroque period. The Augustinian church at Paoay stood marvellously and was included as one the World Heritage sites. It is so huge that I think even a whole barangay can gather and fit in there. Unfortunately, I was not able to visit the inside due to the limited time and because I was so tired already. The whole structure was made up of brick and beside the church stood a bell tower which is already closed I think. This bell tower-church tandem is typical during the Spanish colonization since people are called during mass and this is done by ringing the bells or when there are important religious services, the bells are also rung. My personal favourite though was the windmills we visited. They are lined near a sea where there are strong wind currents capable of moving the windmill’s propeller-like structure. These propeller-like structures face the sea to catch wind so that in every movement of these “propellers”, electricity is generated for the energy and power supply of their region. I was amazed at this structure because it is so beautiful even under the searing rays of the sun and that not only is it is beautiful but also because of the use the people can have for it. I always imagined windmills very different from what I have seen and that was cool.

Most of the itineraries visited were focused on the life Filipinos lived during the colonial period. From the structures of the churches to the houses lined up in Vigan. Filipinos lived as Christians under the influence of the Spanish friars when they introduced it to the Filipinos. It was the Christianization of the Filipinos that were being depicted in the structures left by history and made it to the history of the country and its people. Filipinos would have been very religious during the Spanish colonization period since huge churches and architectural structures were built during the period. Monuments of some saints can also be seen along the roads. Art therefore in this period were focused mainly on building religious structures and artworks were inspired by religion specifically by Catholicism. Filipinos also lived in fear of the Spanish colonizers since most of the houses that were visited during the trip had firearms kept in it and that there were also secret places possible to be hideouts or meeting places for Filipinos plotting for the revolution. They used their art to conceal such places to make them appear as nothing more than a common room and the firearms were carefully concealed in some areas of the town. The dress of the Filipino women was also affected by the influence of the Spanish colonials. The typical Maria Clara is a Spanish inspired costume for the Filipino women. But still it did not lose the Filipino touch. The beautiful dresses that Filipino women wore were works of art and these were used in social gatherings and during special occasions when people meet to celebrate something special. At present the artistic skills of the Filipinos are often used as a means of survival. Filipinos use their art for livelihood activities such as weaving and pottery. They sell their finished products and earn money from it. The materials used for their production are abundant in the area so access to production materials is never difficult for them. For several years, there are Filipinos who focused and gave dedication to their art and are still practicing their art at present. This has harnessed their skill resulting to better if not best products of their trade. We even met a Filipino National Folk Artist for pottery and he even gave a free demonstration on how pottery can be a very fun endeavor though we never tried in on hand. The weaving place that we visited also was already there for more than thirty years. I never imagined how difficult it was to weave. They sell their finished materials as handkerchiefs, table cloths and even beddings and curtains. These products, a result of Filipino art are of high quality and aesthetic value. Filipinos are very artistic and they make a lot from it too. The place where we stayed was also beautiful especially during at night when the streetlights are lit. We stayed at Cordillera Inn in Vigan and we witnessed how it was beautiful and pleasing to the eyes to be living in such area. Vigan itself is a World Heritage Site. The infrastructures were still there although some were converted to souvenir shops and to hotels like the Cordillera Inn but the “historic ambiance” was never lost. I also enjoyed the tour in their town riding the “kalesa”. The “kalesa” was decorated with artistic designs form paint to artificial flowers to give it a picture of elegance similar to Cinderella’s ride to the party at the prince’s castle. This was the primary transport during the colonial period and only a few rich Filipinos can afford this ride. Later on cars were also used since there were some vintage cars in the houses at Vigan that we visited. A P50 tour around the whole town riding a “kalesa” is cheap. Aside from the “kalesa”, most people there used motorcycle as a means of transportation since most of the roads there cannot accommodate two cars going in opposite direction. This gave us a hard time the first time we arrived at the place. And we had to walk around the city under the heat of the sun. But it’s okay since we get to see the village anyway.

The whole trip was a very enjoyable one and culminated in an activity at the Pagudpod Beach in Ilocos which is a white sand beach and very clear water where everyone will surely enjoy swimming there. Though it was tiring, everything paid off as happy faces and wonderful smiles is reflected among the students who joined the trip. I even made friends during the course of the trip. I really enjoyed the whole trip.

Problems never cease to come to everybody’s lives. They come every now and then, one after the other or sometimes one problem can generate another one. Sometimes, people even treat things as problems even if they are not, so it can be concluded that even people make their own problems. So what seems to be problem?

Nothing, if you wouldn’t treat things as such. Let’s say for example, you wake up early in the morning and then you realize that you are very late to the extent that you can already be considered as absent in your class and what’s worse is that you have already exceeded the maximum allowed absences. Is this a big or a small problem? It really depend on the person on how he/she will look at it and how he/she would react on it. But becoming sad, won’t do anything about it anymore since it has happened. Putting a smile  or a frown won’t do anything about it so why choose to frown when you can always smile. But if the problem is something like a man will be told by his girlfriend of an unwanted pregnancy,  now that can be a problem but then again, crying won’t get the baby out of the stomach, neither will solve the problem at all. So, why not smile, think and analyze the possible solutions, either to abort or to give the child a chance to live. Again, this is a decision making process and that tears won’t contribute anything, so why not just smile.

It doesn’t matter how big or small a problem really is, what matters is that one can handle them perfectly, with decisions made and solutions well thought of, one can never find a problem unsolved. As long as one can live by the decision he/she made, then there can never be wrong decision and thet everything has its own right place and a right time. So make big things small, just like measuring a windmill by your fingers.

Funny how happiness can be temporary. How bliss can turn into sadness. How smiles can turn into frown, and how love can turn into a feeling of coldness. For once, people find love out of nowhere and be happy for a while, then everything vanishes into thin air.

Personally I don’t know what I am saying but the way I see it, things are happen because they are bound to happen. People come and go, some will stay while others just pass by. There are a lot of people who influence us so much that somehow, at one point of our life, we change. But there are those who have been with us for a very long time yet we see no difference in ourselves or even in theirs. It is a matter of perspective, how people will try to understand and accept one another. But I don’t know, maybe I’m just one of the many people out there who do not know what to do unless the situation happened already.

I had failed relationships, those that left a mark and a deep wound that even up to now, I still cannot heal. But this is part of life and love as many people say, I just have to let time heal everything and heal myself. The problem is that, the more I try to heal myself, the deeper the wounds become. Memories don’t change, and somehow, those happy memories become the knives that keeps on hurting us, stabbing us, making us bleed to death. I hope that I run out of blood so that in the end, it would hurt anymore.

When you love, you give it your best shot, and let go of the past, in my case, letting go of the past is a long way for me. I just hope love can wait, wait for me.