I read this article from a friend of mine who’s gay. It is about a guy who is confused of his sexuality and seeks help from the experts. This article is from Paul. This is taken from here: Gay Is Natural – “Gay Is Good.”

Gay Is Natural – “Gay Is Good.” Franklin Kameny

Having walked the walk, I help gay men thrive and sustain relationship in a sometimes insensitive world. I approach gayness as something that’s positive, natural and healthy. Much of our suffering comes from experiencing other people’s negative reactions to us being gay, not from being gay by nature. I think almost all gay men experience psychological / social trauma because of prejudicial gay stigma, discrimination and oppression. We are significantly stressed and unfairly challenged by the toxic homophobic atmosphere of our heterosexist culture, and negatively impacted by the dysfunctional responses of others.

For men both closeted and out, internalized homophobia levels have been found to be the largest impediment to mental health for gay men. The experience of societal oppression (gay stigma) makes gay men view their sexual identity in a negative way. This results in low esteem, emotional distress, physical dis-ease and increased suicide risk. Further, maladaptive coping responses like drugs, alcohol, unsafe sex, sex, porn, food, over-exercise, over-work, etc., mitigate the stress of living in a heterosexist culture, but are self-destructive. Symptoms like overemphasizing masculinity, isolation, disconnection and loneliness emerge. I work to free us all from horrible fear, humiliation and shame, to recognize the negative impact of homophobia on us and the importance of developing a positive sexual identity.

It’s my goal to help change damaging experiences for gay men by: improving the poisonous homophobic atmosphere of our culture, alleviating symptoms or problems arising from these sensitive issues, fostering self-acceptance and self-love, affirming non-shameful authentic sexual identity, encouraging personal growth and improving relationships. Thus, all of my work is in the context of being gay affirmative.

It’s perfectly natural for most men to have a “gay tendency” to some degree. Reuters reported that the project leader of an exhibition documenting homosexual behavior among animals at the Oslo Natural History Museum stated that “homosexuality has been observed for more than 1,500 animal species and is well documented for 500 of them.” Based on these findings, the museum concludes that “human homosexuality cannot be viewed as ‘unnatural’ ” or a “crime against nature” since it’s found across the animal kingdom.

Even in the relatively conservtive times of the 1950’s, Dr. Kinsey concluded from his research on human sexuality that most men aren’t all straight or all gay. He said most men fall somewhere between the two. In the 1930’s, Freud said humans were bisexual. And homosexuality has been practiced in all cultures throughout history. These points don’t mean everyone’s bisexual, but everyone isn’t as polarized or fixed in their sexual orientation as we like to think. Most men have a range of sexual potential toward both women and men.

If it were more socially acceptable to be with the same sex, then we would see more men openly exploring the full range of their sexuality. It’s the cultural gay stigma, discriminatrion and oppression that prevents men from doing so openly. Consequently, we have only about 5-10% of people openly identifying as gay. Studies have shown that many more people have same sex thoughts, fantasies or experiences – they just may not feel safe enough in our heterosexist society to acknowledge it openly.

Having a “gay” experience means you’re a normal human being with a range of sexual capacity. Moreover, while exhibiting gay behavior is normal, it isn’t the same as forging a gay identity.

A gay identity — well take this Ask Angelo letter.

Dear Angelo,

How does one really know they’re gay?

Signed, The Quest

Dear Quest,

While it is true that gay men are attracted to and have sex with other men, this is not sufficient to define being gay.

Being gay is not just about sex. For example, a gay person can be celibate for life and still be gay. A gay youth can know he is gay years before his first sexual experience. Alternatively, a man can have man to man sex in prison for life but not be gay.

Being gay is not just about attraction either. There are many men who are attracted to other men, but they never act on it. They identify as straight. Having same sex fantasies doesn’t mean you’re gay. Fantasy is normal, especially while masturbating. Dr. Alfred Kinsey published Sexual Behavior In The Human Male in 1948. Even in those conservative times, Dr. Kinsey found that many men he surveyed acknowledged having a same sex experience. Almost half said they experimented with another male at least once in their lifetime, and over a third said they had reached orgasm with another guy by age 45. Dr. Kinsey believed that male sexuality is fluid. Freud himself thought everyone was bisexual. Men are not simply gay or straight. Same sex behavior is common. It’s having a gay identity that’s so taboo.

So what makes you gay? The essence of being gay is about feelings. The key is more how you feel, not so much what you do or who you do it with.

A gay identity is forged when you are predominately attracted to the same sex AND when you feel that you want to romantically love and share your life with a member of the same sex. When you desire to truly love another man. When you dream of waking up next to a man and creating the moments of your life with a man. When you wish to create a union and perhaps a family with another man. These feelings are at the core of being gay. It’s also political. Being gay is a mind, body, spiritual and political orientation, not just a sexual one.

You may have trouble identifying you’re gay because the powerful stigma around it can make you “confused” about your feelings. To get more clarity, give yourself permission to explore what you already know about yourself. Following what you know will lead you to what you don’t know. Gay Affirmative Counseling and coming out peer groups like PFLAG can also provide very helpful support.

All The Best, Angelo.

Dear Angelo,

Is it wrong to be gay?

Signed, Questioning Metrosexual

No.

And movies like Brokeback Mountain, based on E. Annie Proulx’s story, have helped change people’s minds. All our lives we are taught that “real men” aren’t gay. But by contrasting American culture’s most celebrated man’s man — two Marlboro men — with a gay love story, Brokeback Mountain makes us question the very foundation of our concept of manhood. That’s what makes it uncomfortable for many. It dares us to deny the men their love, their manliness or their humanity. What keeps the gay lovers apart is the fear of what other men will do to them if they find out.

In the part when Jack Twist asks Ennis Del Mar to live with him, the terror of homophobia comes to life. Ennis says “no.” He’s terrified. He says he can’t because he doesn’t want to end up dead. He tells Jack about two old guys he remembers that ranched together. When he was nine years old his dad made sure he took him to see one them dead in a ditch. His body was mangled, haven been beaten and dragged by a horse from his penis until it pulled off. This is what “real” men can do to queers. Ennis says he wouldn’t have put it past his dad to kill the rancher, and he wouldn’t put it past him (his dad) to kill him now if he found out. If you think this is out of America’s rural past think again. Hate crimes, including murder, still happen today – even in our cities.

It isn’t wrong to be gay. What’s wrong is the sick social stigma gay men face. The powerful movie Brokeback Mountain brings the consequences of homophobia for gay men and their relationships into broad daylight. If it weren’t for the potentially dangerous consequences of coming out – being seen as not “all man” – nothing would be wrong at all.

Brokeback Mountain also portrays that being gay is being about love, not sex. It’s a love story between two men. Their gayness is portrayed as a natural expression of who they are, rather than a lustful “immoral perversion.” Ennis and Jack respectably try to squelch their “compulsion,” attempting to live the “right lifestyle,” and do the “the right thing.” They act straight and stay closeted. But being gay is part of their essential nature, so they suffer. Unfortunately, innocent woman get hurt too.

We have to challenge homophobia everyday by redefining manhood and being the gay men we are so homophobia stops. Otherwise, shame, anxiety, fear and harmful coping responses can cloud our entire lives. A central theme in gay men’s lives is reconciling their gayness (which they learned is “feminine”) with their manhood.

Like lefthandedness, being gay is not a choice. More and more research points to biology – a gay gene. The only choice is to live courageously and authentically as we are.

All The Best, Angelo.

Funny how people rally on the streets screaming to oust their government officials for an unwanted governance of poor performance, funny how people scream at the top of their lungs because of hunger and poverty just because the government cannot give them what they asked and funny how people scrutinize corruption when they themselves do it even on a daily basis.

But then, why is still corruption prevalent? Why is it that these government officials are corrupt? Has anyone thought about this before he/she marched to the government offices? One concrete reason is that, they had to since the people pushed them too. During election campaigns, people expect from their candidates to give them something, people expect from their officials to make their roads concrete, to install basketball courts for their barangay, to give them medicine and even relief goods even if they are not yet in office. And where do we expect them to get the funds to support these people’s pleas? They are not yet in position but they are already compelled to do it, win or lose, they already spent much. So, when they are already in office, what do they do? They get very busy just to regain what they spent during the campaign period.

It is even ironic that people expect their congressmen to build roads, public services, medical missions, feeding programs and the like when their sole purpose in the office is to formulate laws that will safeguard their constituents. But officials who do their duty are not recognized by the people, lest they are only labeled as corrupt since no projects are visible for the people to see.

Why did I mention that even those who are not government officials still are corrupt? Easy, for a child with younger siblings, exercise of “maturity rule” can be a very corrupt way, or how about bringing office supplies for household consumptions like writing papers, ballpoint pens and the like for those who are already working? Or how about asking more from your parents what you really need or what is required for school projects?
So, if I ask you now, aren’t you corrupt too? Do you have the right to march up to the gates of the government offices just to scream that corrupt officials should resign? Think again. I myself is guilty of such.

The majestic rice terraces of the Philippines were made many years ago by the Ifugaos and have been listed as one of the wonders of the world. Terraces were formed from the sloping mountains done manually and were planted with lowland rice. This has become a cultural heritage for the Ifugaos and a pride for the Philippines.

Although it is sad to know that these terraces are not being maintained anymore like it was before. People prefer to leave the mountains and choose to work in the city rather than to cultivate land and produce food for the country. If only this can still become a good source of rice, the country might have not suffered a very expensive price for a kilo of rice. There would have been enough rice served at every Filipino dining table to date. Sadly, even people living near the terraces are suffering rice shortage.

Modernization has made the native farm practices be forgotten. Come to think of it, before, when manual labor was dominant, these terraces were maintained and not a single terrace was neglected. But with the advent of fertilizers and other modernization, it seems that the terraces were not being taken care of by many people. Many prefer to work in lowlands or in the city.

Modern gadgets now alienate people leading to the “uselessness” of these technologies. What worth does an object possess if one does not have any idea on how to use it. Every technology should be accompanied with proper use or guidelines on how to maximize its potential. And besides, not every technology is applicable to everybody. Scientists and engineers should develop technologies that will fit their target market as a whole